This is a post for T-SQL Tuesday #100 and it is going to be a mix of science fact and science fiction of what our data world could look like on June 1, 2026. #TSQL2sday was created by Adam Machanic. It is being hosted by him too. Thanks Adam!
During one of my sapho juice induced meditations before I began my daily mentat exercises, I began to play with an idea about DNA digital data storage. Even back in 2018, scientists were able to conceptually shoehorn 215 petabytes of data into a gram of DNA. Our progress has evolved since then, heh.
I knew from my previous work designing blockchains using DNA, that mankind faced a fundamental problem of using DNA for data storage. And that is slow read speeds. Even with AWS Glacier DNA or on-prem Alephs of Azure, the speed of reading this kind of data frankly sucks.
The problem lies in the structure of DNA itself. The entire strand has be to sequenced in order to read the data. I mean, it is a full DNA scan for crying out loud!
So during my meditation I thought to my self, “Self, if you could run sp_BlitzIndex v50 from The Ozarians on these DNA strands, what would it find? Well, Brent’s avatar would probably do the missing index dance of course!”
Thus began my journey. As part of my dissertation work on biomimetics computational neuroscience on mapping both the conscious and unconscious algorithms of the brain, I knew there had to be some existing data structure I could use as an index. Today, I am proud to announce:
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE – June 1, 2026
Aurora, CO – Kleinhans Industries Releases the Nonclustered DNA_Store Index (NCDNAI)
The world now has a way to quickly read data from DNA structures. Think of it like a tiny constellation of biological satellites in orbit around the strands. Each strand has its own constellation.
Kleinhans Industries is currently in negotiations with companies like Microsoft to license the technology.
“A billion here, a billion there, pretty soon it starts to add up to real money. We are hopeful that negotiations will be completed in the near future and companies can begin incorporating this ground-breaking technology into their DNA database products.”
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